“Real” is frustrating and slow. But so so much better.

Our “catch.”

Summer is rapidly approaching. I am thinking about what is possible to achieve or what I would like to achieve before it comes and goes. Over the past summer I had a simple goal: I wanted the girls and I to catch some fish*. Berries is all we got. Luckily no one got hooked in the eye. I learned something about prioritizing. Keeping the hooks out of eyes quickly became the priority followed by keeping children out of the pond.  Another big priority was preventing myself from having a temper tantrum about the tangled lines, inability to follow my (overly complicated) instructions, and other impediments to catching a fish that are inherent to attempting to fish with a 2 and a 4 year old.  After a few trips of going to ponds ostensibly to fish only to turn it into a walk around looking for raspberries we dispensed with the fishing all together and went on a purposeful berry walk.

The one on the right was the keeper, we let the one on the left go.

Monkey 1 angling for berries.

Then Nisha baked whatever fruits of our labors actually made it home into a great cake like thing.

Probably much better eating than a muddy water sunfish anyway.

Hooray. So some take aways to influence this summer’s goals:


  1. Pick something realistic!
  2. Have a (preferably tasty) back up plan.
  3. Don’t burn the bridge to your back up plan while Driving to Bologna.


*We also needed to conduct way too many real estate transactions and move all of our worldly possessions about half a dozen times while not losing all of our sanity. Oh, and then have another child. But catching a fish was a big goal.


  1. Glad I found this blog. Hope you continue to update it regularly.
    I came across this blog from the art of manliness. Its past 3 am and I am 7 months pregnant with my third child.
    I woke up in the middle of the night with thoughts about labor and wondering what would it take for me to deliver a baby at home myself. The lead me to the Art of Manliness post about delivering a baby in a pinch (written for dads), and found your post about being a stay at home Dad in the process. It was by far the best parenting blog article I’ve ever read to date. I loved that it was no frills, efficiently written and packed with good insight. I especially liked that you said raising children is not innately feminine. My husband and I split the child raising duties throughout the week. We both work part-time, and definitely bring different gifts to the table. I am so blessed to experience what a hands on Dad’s influence brings to our two boys (ages 1 & 2- with a third boy on the way).

    All that is to say, even as a Mommy who sings, snuggles, and cuddles my boys often- I am a bit of “militant” person myself and can learn loads from your parenting style. I feel honored to raise boys and love giving them many opportunities to take risks, test their limits, and grow in their problem solving skills and ingenuity. Looking forward to get updates.

    • bo

      Thank you for your encouragement! I’ve got lots of wirings in various stages of half finishedness all waiting for me to finish building a shed, weeding the garden, baking bread…. And so many other excuses. I’m very glad to hear that y’all are doing the right (and difficult) things. Rock on!

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